So, You Want To Be a Dining Critic?

[Pink Freud]

The New York Times' dining critic for more than a decade, Pete Wells, is stepping down. Before you apply for his job, note this excerpt from his exit interview.

Interviewer: When I think about being a restaurant critic, I think it would be just heaven to be able to take a group of people out to dinner every night and order everything on the menu. Then I think how stressful that would be for me as just a social being, to be the organizer of a dinner party every night.

Pete Wells: There’s a kind of a sheepdog role, where you have to look at the menu, decide what you’re going to have, or let me tell you what you’re going to have. When the waiter comes, remember your role. And remember what we agreed you’re going to eat. You’re not here to suddenly decide at the last minute you just want the salad, right? That’s not why I brought you.

Interviewer: Yes. You can’t authentically order everything like what you would order if you weren’t here with a restaurant critic.

Pete Wells: But it’s funny, because I do want people to look at the menu and kind of choose what they want, and then I reserve the right to edit them. So, if three people want the lamb, I’m going to say, “No, only one of you is going to get the lamb,” or, “I’ve had the lamb every single time I’ve been to this restaurant, and it would be great to try something else.”

The critic Wells also bemoans the impact of dining out nightly on his weight, his blood pressure (from sodium), and having to abstain from regular wine tasting.

Now I better understand why so many pro athletes slump after winning a championship. They spend the entire offseason hitting bars to celebrate with family and buddies; accepting invitations to be honored on the rubber chicken circuit, and basking in their laurels...then it's suddenly time to get back in shape when the next season rolls around.