If I Had Legs I'd Kick You

[Dicktar2023]

If you know anything about this movie, it's probably that Conan O'Brien co-stars in a non-comedic role. But really? Non-comedic? I mean...you can read its whimsical title for yourself. This must be a comedy. Say, a dark comedy. Or a satirical comedy. Or a dramedy. But certainly, comedy must be involved in some way, right?

No. Here are a few movies I thought of: The Babadook. Son of Saul. Eraserhead. This is a grim, intense entry in the Anxiety Attack Cinema of the last ten years (see, for instance, the films of the Safdie brothers--including Marty Supreme).

Get the idea of laughs out of your head, because you don't want to be distracted by waiting for this to get funny. You want to pay close attention. Information here comes in small shots from oblique angles. And you want to make sure you pick up as much as you can, because you are not going to want to watch this movie a second time.

Writer-Director Mary Bronstein takes some big, ambtitious, even experimental swings here. They do not all work out. The movie is too long and has several subplots that could be pared down. Australian actress Danielle MacDonald is terrible—I assume because she's concentrating on her accent. But in terms of using the techniques of cinema to put you in the state of mind of a protagonist, this is a phenomenal film.

As for the Conan factor, his presence is distracting at first, but it ends up working very well. The subplot with him is remarkable in terms of what and how it is able to communicate.

You should see this movie, but let me just be honest: you're not going to like it. It's not the kind of movie you enjoy, it's the kind you endure. But hey, it's December, time for those kinds of movies. And this is one of the best of the year.

[3dender]

What are we supposed to make of the ending? And the title?

Rose Byrne was terrific. Didn't see Hamnet but I can't imagine anyone could have complained if Byrne won.

[abuxb]

I saw it. I endured it. It made no sense. Why was her child off screen? What exactly was wrong with the child? What's with the title? It was a pretentious mess.

[3dender]

I saw it. I endured it. It made no sense. Why was her child off screen? What exactly was wrong with the child? What's with the title? It was a pretentious mess.

The child was off screen so that the audience would sympathize more with the mom, which worked pretty well imo (i assume the whiny voice annoyed you as much as it did me). We only saw daughter at the point where her mother resumed seeing her as a person rather than a burden.

I think it also supports the reading that we don't know as viewers exactly how much of the movie is real versus in her head. What we know of the daughter is limited almost totally to how she sounds to the mom (i.e. annoying af).

[Dicktar2023]

I saw it. I endured it. It made no sense. Why was her child off screen? What exactly was wrong with the child? What's with the title? It was a pretentious mess.

The child was off screen so that the audience would sympathize more with the mom, which worked pretty well imo (i assume the whiny voice annoyed you as much as it did me). We only saw daughter at the point where her mother resumed seeing her as a person rather than a burden.

I think it also supports the reading that we don't know as viewers exactly how much of the movie is real versus in her head. What we know of the daughter is limited almost totally to how she sounds to the mom (i.e. annoying af).

I totally agree. If we saw the girl, we'd have sympathy for her. Instead, she's just an annoying voice, and our attention and sympathy as viewers is where Linda's attention and sympathy is: on Linda.

Since a few more people have seen, it, I am curious what everybody made of her relationship with the Conan character.

Spoiler

I thought it was pretty clear that they'd had an affair and it was over now but he still resented her because of it. But several people I've talked to about this sensed nothing like that. Thoughts?

One thing I love about this movie is how it didn't bother to spell out those kinds of details, and how that missing backstory plays into the movie's strategy. Linda isn't interested in an of that. She's only interested in getting by from moment to moment, and only focused on her own suffering.

[Dicktar2023]

What are we supposed to make of the ending? And the title?

Rose Byrne was terrific. Didn't see Hamnet but I can't imagine anyone could have complained if Byrne won.

I have no idea what to make of the title, but I think it's a bit of a misstep, since it makes it sound like a comedy.

The ending is ambiguous.

Spoiler

A friend of mine (also a very stressed-out mom) was disgusted by Linda's promise to "do better," since the whole movie seemed to be about her doing her absolute best and failing and being failed by the people around her.

JMO, but I took it as a moment of perspective. That this has been a nightmare few days and it seemed like the world was ending, but it turns out it was just a bad week. She sees her daughter's face, meaning she's processing her life in a more normal way and not circling around the abyss. Anxiety attack over (for now).

[3dender]

Since a few more people have seen, it, I am curious what everybody made of her relationship with the Conan character.

Spoiler

I thought it was pretty clear that they'd had an affair and it was over now but he still resented her because of it. But several people I've talked to about this sensed nothing like that. Thoughts?

I'm going to go ahead without the spoiler function since it's been out for awhile and few people seem to care to see it.

It was at least very clear she was coming onto Conan with the dream, as it was the same tactic her patient used on her. I hadn't thought about past tense, but it would track, so yes you're onto something there. More interesting to me is how much of his behavior, or he himself, was just in her head. E.g. when she was panicking over the baby being left with her, his reaction to her needing help made no sense whatsoever. Was he objectively behaving that way with her or was she embellishing it in her head to make him extra callous, or was he even there at all? And what's with the shot of the legs/shoes on his couch, which was clearly supposed to be significant?

Spoiler

A friend of mine (also a very stressed-out mom) was disgusted by Linda's promise to "do better," since the whole movie seemed to be about her doing her absolute best and failing and being failed by the people around her.

JMO, but I took it as a moment of perspective. That this has been a nightmare few days and it seemed like the world was ending, but it turns out it was just a bad week. She sees her daughter's face, meaning she's processing her life in a more normal way and not circling around the abyss. Anxiety attack over (for now).

Lol I didn't take the movie to be about what your friend said at all. She's not doing her best at all, she's a control freak who can't let go and is therefore the architect of her own suffering... it's stated over and over again her need to control things. It's even in the first scene where she is trying to control how her own daughter perceives her. And the first thing we're told about her is that she's "stretchable," meaning she doesn't set limits with people around her, which is a recipe for getting bitter and burnt out. She also treats other people like [shirt] throughout the movie.

Yes she's being failed by the people around her, but she is also a creator of the mess she is failing with. Like why doesn't she just take some time off work, instead of giving all of her clients subpar service? I think women and mothers will naturally tend to sympathize with her, but she is hard for me to sympathize with.

I also took it that it was more persistent than just "a bad week." Yes it was a crisis and rock bottom of a sort, but it struck me as a long time coming. But I agree with you that seeing daughter's face at the end meant she was coming out of it. I'm not sure exactly what switch flipped for her, but she does seem to be better now. Which will hopefully mean she can be more relaxed and (somewhat paradoxically) set firmer boundaries with the people around her.

I guess she was trying to kill herself in the sea but in doing so realized she actually wanted to live, and therefore the only thing left for her to do is to earnestly try to make her situation better?

[Dicktar2023]

Since a few more people have seen, it, I am curious what everybody made of her relationship with the Conan character.

Spoiler

I thought it was pretty clear that they'd had an affair and it was over now but he still resented her because of it. But several people I've talked to about this sensed nothing like that. Thoughts?

I'm going to go ahead without the spoiler function since it's been out for awhile and few people seem to care to see it.

It was at least very clear she was coming onto Conan with the dream, as it was the same tactic her patient used on her. I hadn't thought about past tense, but it would track, so yes you're onto something there. More interesting to me is how much of his behavior, or he himself, was just in her head. E.g. when she was panicking over the baby being left with her, his reaction to her needing help made no sense whatsoever. Was he objectively behaving that way with her or was she embellishing it in her head to make him extra callous, or was he even there at all? And what's with the shot of the legs/shoes on his couch, which was clearly supposed to be significant?

Spoiler

A friend of mine (also a very stressed-out mom) was disgusted by Linda's promise to "do better," since the whole movie seemed to be about her doing her absolute best and failing and being failed by the people around her.

JMO, but I took it as a moment of perspective. That this has been a nightmare few days and it seemed like the world was ending, but it turns out it was just a bad week. She sees her daughter's face, meaning she's processing her life in a more normal way and not circling around the abyss. Anxiety attack over (for now).

Lol I didn't take the movie to be about what your friend said at all. She's not doing her best at all, she's a control freak who can't let go and is therefore the architect of her own suffering... it's stated over and over again her need to control things. It's even in the first scene where she is trying to control how her own daughter perceives her. And the first thing we're told about her is that she's "stretchable," meaning she doesn't set limits with people around her, which is a recipe for getting bitter and burnt out. She also treats other people like [shirt] throughout the movie.

Yes she's being failed by the people around her, but she is also a creator of the mess she is failing with. Like why doesn't she just take some time off work, instead of giving all of her clients subpar service? I think women and mothers will naturally tend to sympathize with her, but she is hard for me to sympathize with.

I also took it that it was more persistent than just "a bad week." Yes it was a crisis and rock bottom of a sort, but it struck me as a long time coming. But I agree with you that seeing daughter's face at the end meant she was coming out of it. I'm not sure exactly what switch flipped for her, but she does seem to be better now. Which will hopefully mean she can be more relaxed and (somewhat paradoxically) set firmer boundaries with the people around her.

I guess she was trying to kill herself in the sea but in doing so realized she actually wanted to live, and therefore the only thing left for her to do is to earnestly try to make her situation better?

I agree about how he reacts to her. It's so bad, it might be embellished in her head. I was thinking through the whole thing "why he is so hostile toward her?" Then when she whispered "I love you" to him, it clicked a little. Then, in the last scene with them together, when he tells her he's not going to "see" her anymore, he turns suddenly very angry after she asks him if he has any children. As though he's deeply hurt that she doesn't remember she knows the answer to that question.