seattleblue wrote: ↑14 May 2025 13:27 pm
stlblues1979 wrote: ↑14 May 2025 12:52 pm
seattleblue wrote: ↑14 May 2025 12:09 pm
DawgDad wrote: ↑14 May 2025 11:58 am
seattleblue wrote: ↑14 May 2025 11:33 am
DawgDad wrote: ↑14 May 2025 11:27 am
seattleblue wrote: ↑14 May 2025 10:10 am
People spend their completely finite energy and attention in patterns that bring them something.
You absolutely cannot control another person with words on a forum and you definitely can't get them to change if you insult them as a person
Some people say "this person's standards are low, they don't care about that, so I don't have to care about it either" and they just reply to the person they perceive as craving negativity and go on with their day and the cycle continues. Obviously the original person is getting something out of the negative attention. I have a guess: negative attention is still attention.
I'm trying something a little different since as was referenced the tactic of calling out everyone who responds is also unworkable, but also just giving up and letting things slide into cesspool degrades the legitimate experience of the other 100+ people here. So my approach has been: Positive attention to the person, negative attention to the ideas, BUT ALSO a relatively limited shelf life in responding substantively each day a new thread is posted. BUT ALSO not a long memory so that the person has room to start fresh any time.
The reason for not a long memory is this, and I think it goes to the thesis of the OP which is:
something in the past was painful and it's inappropriate go just go on like it never happened. Here's what wisdom the OP overlooks. Everything changes, the nature of life is change. You cannot get a single emotion that you have to stay fixed, you cannot. And that has the result of, over time, making the past full of both misery and pleasure you can't touch.
You have to leave the present some room to change because it's natural law.
Invariably it leads with a false premise.
Human beings are unreliable narrators, all of us.
I am advocating refusing to compromise one's own self in reply. When you're nice to someone in a situation, not sarcastically nice but actually nice, it leaves them little room to take the conversation. It's REALLY hard to get a rise out of people who are being nice to you.
You're dipping your toes into false equivalency. Also, being nice to someone in certain cases might actually be condescension, sarcasm. Can't always tell.
This is a forum for discussing pertinent topics and posting topical news and links. My topical comment is I consider the thread topic to be a false premise. Others might agree or disagree. This and the aside reply to you exhausts my attention span.
I think it's also a false premise, it's not desperation. I think there's one person framing it as "desperation."
I can understand having it exhaust your attention span, but also ... we are now only even talking about it because you quoted me and gave it some attention. I see something of a pivot point in the way these interactions can go here because the personal insults have really been coming from one side lately and it's not the side you have a problem with. Therefore because I sense this potential pivot point, I am offering my own perspective in a thread where this dynamic being openly discussed. Others might agree or disagree as well. Just a perspective.
Here's my perspective for what it's worth. I have ASOGG on ignore because I just got tired of reading his nonsense & realizing the attitude he had behind it. A lot of times I check into the forum without logging in because a lot of times I don't post anything, just want to see what's being discussed. Of course though, that means his responses & posts are available to see easily.
Referring to "some room to change", I'm more than willing to do that for someone. In my life I've really come to know the importance of forgiving, second chances, & not taking offense & holding grudges. At the same time, that doesn't mean there can be any kind of cordial or healthy relationship until the offending person realizes their actions & behavior. Not to go too far down the pyschological or spiritual road, but the truth is that without truth there can be no genuine change.
When he told the whole forum he would be leaving if the Blues won a playoff game & then didn't do it
OR if he had been willing to admit that maybe he was wrong about some things & wanted to still post & discuss the Blues. No problem. Would have read more of what he posted. The truth is that he's not a person of his word. And we're talking about a sports forum. Makes you wonder what his real life is like.
When you're making an attempt to hold yourself internally consistent and coherent then it can be maddening to wrestle with an argument that has no principles around that. It violates the unwritten rules of good discourse without violating the terms of service. There are people in any group situation who are going to figure out how to get attention while remaining in the group. See I think secretly deep down the "foes" want real respect in life like we all do even if they seem to be determined to execute creating the opposite effect. It's almost like they have never figured out how to get it, and so we must all suffer the consequences. If you offer such a person respect even if it doesn't feel like they've earned it, then you're out clean because you have offered them real value and they're not taking it at this time. Give respect without being attached to whether it is returned. That in general just goes a long long way in life.
I appreciate your thoughts, but probably see things a little differently. But you know, that's all right. We're good. I'm more than willing to give someone many chances & if you consider that respect, then we're in agreement. I tend to link trust with respect though. A healthy life will see someone being recipient of mercy & grace (gifts)
and being trustworthy & respectful (virtues that are earned.)
Back to hockey, I do want to say how much I appreciate your insight & your sharing info on amateur hockey especially how it relates to the Blues. I'll probably miss a few, but STl-MN, Pierre, kimzey, Hockey Pete, yourself add so much to this forum regarding the up & coming players & prospects.I've loved St. Louis sports all my life & always enjoyed when the new generation of players were making their way through, regardless of what sport.
You guys have provided a lot of insight which I'm thankful for & as we near the draft, can't wait to see what you guys post. Keep us informed. Much appreciated.