OK, maybe I should just speak for myself. Here’s the press release:

FART SMART

Introducing Subtle Butt ™ – Disposable Shields That Neutralize Odor Caused By (Gasp!) Flatulence

Irvine, CA − February 2008 − We all know the childhood ditty: “Beans, beans good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you fart. The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat some beans at every meal.”

Sure, if we lived by that philosophy, we’d all be social outcasts.

In this politically correct day and age, farting is still a major no-no for both men and women, alike. Now, thanks to the geniuses behind Garment Guard, the disposable, self-adhesive discs that prevent underarm stains, you can fart smart!

Introducing…Subtle Butt™.

Made of activated carbon fabric, each disposable 3.25” x 3.25” square shield is held onto the inside of underwear or pants with two self-adhesive strips. Subtle Butt effectively filters flatulence, absorbing and neutralizing its odor. Now you can eat all of the beans and burritos you want and still have a social life.

Available in a five pack, Subtle Butt has a suggested retail price of $9.95 and will be available in March 2008 by visiting www.garmentguard.com. Subtle Butt™ is a division of Garment Guard.

For more information, please visit www.garmentguard.com.

OK, that’s the release. It’s me again. I wish I had something clever to say, but I truly find that I’m at a loss for words. But I do wonder the social etiquette of offering one to the guy who typically sits next to me on long plane rides.